


With Friends Like These...

by SeleneMoon



Category: Magic Kaito, 名探偵コナン | Detective Conan | Case Closed
Genre: Friends who are going to get a soccer ball to the face if Conan ever finds out, Hattori is manipulative, He's too blunt to be good at it, Interfering Friends, It works anyway, Other, Overprotective friends, Selfish friends, worried friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:45:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5937241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SeleneMoon/pseuds/SeleneMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>...who needs enemies? </p><p> </p><p>When Hattori and KID team up, it doesn't usually mean good things for Kudo Shinichi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Justification

Hattori Heiji was waiting for Kaitou KID on the roof. The sight was enough to make KID pause in his escape. “Tantei-han, what are you doing in Kyoto?” He asked as warmly as he could. He didn’t know the detective well. Hattori wasn’t one of _his_ detectives the way Tantei-kun or Tantei-san were. KID kind of got the impression that Hattori viewed him as off limits without Tantei-kun’s okay. “I didn’t see any sign you were here.” The Taskforce were as inept as usual, and he’d had no problem getting the jewel that was now safely tucked in an inner jacket pocket.

“I ‘ain’t here ta catch ya, KID.” Hattori said solemnly, stepping forward. His hat shadowed his face. “I have somethin’ important ta tell yah. I hope ya got a good head start on the Taskforce.” KID smirked.

“I always do.” He answered. “What did you want to say?”

“Kudo’s got an antidote.” Hattori told him flatly. There was a short pause as KID absorbed the information. 

“That’s a good thing, isn’t it?” KID asked, perplexed by the detective’s serious attitude.

“No! It’s not!” Hattori snapped; he started pacing up and down. “Do you _know_ how much harder it will be to keep him safe in his real body?!”

“Tantei-kun’s a big boy.” KID admonished with amusement. “Or he will be, he can take care of himself.”

“Can he?!” Hattori spun on his heel to face KID glaring at him fiercely. “Tell me, Kaitou KID, how many times have ya caught him when he was fallin’ ta his death?” KID’s silence and suddenly dry mouth was all the answer he needed. “Do ya really think ya’ll be able to catch a teenager? Can yer hang glider even handle the weight?” KID swallowed.

“He’ll be able to defend himself when he’s in his own body.” KID said, trying to convince himself as much as Hattori.

“He was in his own body when he was forced ta take the drug that did this ta him in the first place.” Hattori gave him a look. “It’s only dumb luck it din’t kill him.”

“I get it,” KID growled. “But Tantei-kun is a magnet for trouble in either body. Shouldn’t he be in the one where he’s happier? The one that he can take care of himself in?”

“The one with a target on his head.” Hattori muttered.

“Target?” KID demanded sharply.

“Nah, nothin’.” Hattori shook his head impatiently. “The point is that Kudo will always do dangerous stuff _alone_!” Hattori jabbed his finger at KID. “When he’s Conan, he actually realizes when he needs help. When he needs ya, or me, or Neechan.” Hattori scrubbed at his hair, knocking his hat askew. “He’s _safer_ when he’s Conan because he KNOWS he can’t take on the world. As Kudo, he _acts_ like he can!” KID was wavering. What Hattori was saying made a lot of sense. If KID thought Conan was reckless now (and he did) he could only imagine how bad he would be in an adult’s body. And Hattori really did seem to be Tantei-kun’s best friend… If he thought it was for the best… Maybe it was. Hattori sensed his uncertainty.

“Besides,” Hattori moved in for the kill. “Don’t ya want him ta keep comin’ ta yer heists?”

Kaito’s eyes narrowed. “What is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“I’m just sayin’.” Hattori continued smugly. “ _Kudo Shinichi_ never attended yer heists. He’s a sought after _homicide_ investigator,” Hattori was positively grinning now. “He doesn’t have _time_ for a petty thief.” Kaito tensed.

“He’ll make time.” He said with confidence that he didn’t have.

“Realllllly?” Hattori drawled. “Between takin’ down murderers, catchin’ up on school, and Neechan, how much time do ya think he is goin’ ta have?”

It was a low blow, and would only work if Kaito was selfish… “He’s safer as Conan?” Kaito asked, hating himself just a little bit. Hattori nodded vigorously. “Then, I guess it’s our duty to keep him safe.” Kaito grinned, and it wasn’t _all_ poker face. Hattori was probably right. Kudo probably was safer as Conan.

…Besides, Kaito still thought he might want to kidnap him if he ever got bored, and that would be a lot easier if he were still seven years old.


	2. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ...It's really not so bad what they are doing... Right?

Kaito had wanted to disguise himself as Hattori and swap the antidote with the sugar pill that he’d manufactured based on Hattori’s description. Hattori had stubbornly denied him. He warned KID that if he tried anything like knocking him out, he’d be found out by Conan immediately. If Hattori didn’t text some unknown person after 3 pm, Conan would receive a text that said “Hattori = 1412”. It was a stupidly straightforward plan, and it wouldn’t have worked if Hattori didn’t pull the “I want to be there for Kudo when the ‘antidote’ fails” card. Besides, Kaito knew that Hattori would have no trouble throwing him under the bus to protect his relationship with the diminutive detective. It would be all to easy for Hattori to tell Conan that he’d suspected the thief was up to something and created a failsafe, just in case. Between the two of them, who would Conan believe? Hattori claiming that KID was sticking his unwanted nose into his business or KID claiming that Hattori was trying to keep him from turning into Kudo Shinichi? Kaito could barely believe the second option and he was the guy’s accomplice!

Instead, Kaito had spent hours with the detective teaching him various slights of hand so that he could swap the pills. They probably would have gotten along, they might have even had fun, if they didn’t both feel guilty about what they were going to do. As a result they tended to argue more than anything else, blaming each other for depriving the shrunken detective of his deepest desire, rather than accepting that they were both probably horrible and selfish people. By the time Hattori could conduct the swap, Kaito’s opinion of the Osakan detective lined up pretty well with that of his British detective’s. Kaito wished that Hattori attended more of his heists so that he could take his revenge on the man properly.

Still, they did develop a kind of respect for each other. Kaito recognized that Hattori truly cared about Conan and wouldn’t do this if there weren’t some deeper reasons. Hattori was forced to admit that if it came right down to it KID would come clean and risk his tentative (but highly valued) relationship with Kudo if he decided that Conan would be better off as his adult self. Their first priority was Conan, and they would gladly stab each other in the back for his sake. KID assumed that Hattori knew that he’d been bugged, and that the detective wasn’t destroying said bug as some kind of bizarre compromise…

 

 

 

“Y- yo, lil’ scientist!” Hattori greeted the freaky little girl who opened the door. Kaito flinched at Hattori’s put on façade as he listened through the bug. Thank goodness it was that creepy little girl and not Tantei-kun who answered the door. He would have known something was up immediately. Not for the first time, Kaito inwardly cursed the Osakan detective for his stubborn refusal to allow Kaito to execute the plan.

Kaito hoped that Hattori got his act together as the little girl led him down the hall. “So, ya finally figured out the antidote.” Hattori attempted to initiate a conversation.

“A _possible_ antidote.” Haibara stressed. “Frankly, he’s taking it against my advice.”

“Than why’d ya tell him ‘bout it?” Hattori asked, a hint of annoyance creeping into his voice.

“I didn’t.” Haibara sniffed. “He saw some of my notes before I could put them away.” Haibara sighed. “Honestly, he’s getting his hopes up for nothing.”

“Ya did say it’d might not work.” Hattori mumbled. Kaito rolled his eyes far away. That was what their plan was based on. They hoped to trick Conan into thinking the antidote was a dud.

“It either won’t work, will work temporarily, will work, or it will kill him.” Haibara listed in a dry voice. Kaito sat up straight as if he’d just be shocked and Hattori tripped.

“Kill him?!” Hattori choked.

“Ah, I thought he might not have told you that part.” Haibara commented, cocking her head slightly. “You seemed awfully calm about him taking the antidote, so I was wondering if you knew just what he was risking.” Kaito was suddenly very glad that he’d gone along with Hattori’s plan…

“Stop being dramatic, Haibara.” Conan called out dryly. Hattori glanced at the open doorway where Conan was scowling at Haibara. Conan turned his gaze on Hattori, and it softened considerably. “It’s less than a 2% likelihood. More than worth it to get my old body back.” He assured the other detective. Hattori swallowed.

“If ya say so, Kudo…” He said hesitantly. Kaito leaned forward in his chair. His eyes on his computer screen, though there was nothing displayed. He wished he could have worked out a way to get video. Hattori better not be backing out. The discovery that his best friend would risk dying to return to his old life was bound to affect Hattori.

Conan smiled. “Don’t worry. I might have rotten luck in general, but when it comes to staying alive. I always beat the odds.” He led Hattori into the room. “You know that.”

“I guess.” Hattori tried to laugh. Then with more confidence said. “Nothin’s gonna happen ta ya, Kudo.” Kaito sighed and sat back. It seemed that Hattori was going through with their plan. How else would he be so positive that his friend would survive? It was a good thing too. Learning that there was even a slim possibility of the detective’s death had only served to strengthen Kaito’s resolve to keep the antidote _far away_ from his favorite detective. If Hattori had backed out Kaito probably would have barged right in there and grabbed the darn pill.

“Here it is.” Haibara said solemnly, taking out the antidote. Kaito heard a faint rattle of a pill on glass.

“This is it?” Hattori pulled the vial out of Haibara’s hands and opened it. Kaito tensed. This was it.

“Hand it over, Hattori.” Conan said, and Kaito could practically hear his eye roll.

“Sure thin’, Kudo.” Hattori said. Kaito held his breath, unable to see Hattori drop the sugar pill into Conan’s hand while he palmed the real one. Conan took a deep breath and looked around at his friends. Hattori was tense, Haibara was wearing a mask of indifference, and Agasa-hakase looked down right worried. He smiled weakly at them. “Here goes.” He entered the bathroom and closed the door. They heard water running as he filled a cup.

Five minutes passed… Nothing happened. Ten minutes… Haibara was frowning now. Fifteen minutes… “Haibara? I’m not feeling any different.”

“We probably should’ve given him a Holmes book.” Hattori muttered. “Ya alright in there, Kudo?”

“No.” The dejected detective opened the door. Slumped shoulders, lowered head, clenched fists, his entire body language screamed defeat, and guilt tore viciously at Hattori’s heart.

“I did tell you that it might not work.” Haibara told him flatly. “It was an entirely new approach. You should stay the night in case something changes.” Conan swallowed.

“Do you think it might?” He asked in a small voice.

Haibara didn’t look at him. “No.” She glanced at Hattori, then away. Conan’s jaw was trembling. His friends could tell he was trying not to cry. “Why don’t you and Hattori have a movie night?” She suggested. “You can go look at the films we have, and send Hakase to your house for any movies we don’t have.” Conan nodded slowly. Haibara pulled Agasa-hakase down and whispered for him to give Conan a moment alone while he was picking out movies. Agasa nodded and led him out of the room. Hattori swallowed, still feeling guilty. On the other side of the bug, Kaito did the same. So… it wasn’t fair to Conan… Kaito was alright with being selfish in this case. Even a 2% chance of losing the detective was too high for his comfort level.

Both boys wallowed in their own guilt in the silence. Until it was broken. “I know what you did.” Haibara stated. Hattori looked down at her in surprise.

“Wha?” He asked.

“I know you switched the pills.” She said with certainty.

“W- why would I do somethin’ like that?!” Hattori backed up, panicking. Kaito was having a similar brush with hyperventilation away from their eyes and ears. Freaking Hattori! Can’t even pull off a switch right! “Dat’s crazy. Ya’re talkin’ crazy.” Hattori’s accent seemed to thicken.

“Relax.” Haibara snapped. “It wasn’t the real antidote anyway.” Hattori blinked, and Kaito fell out of his chair.

“Whatcha mean, little neechan?” Hattori asked, while Kaito took his seat again, grateful no one saw that.

“It was just a temporary antidote.” She explained patiently. “I wasn’t about to allow Kudo Shinichi return, only to get himself killed after two or three weeks.” She snorted. “He couldn’t keep a low profile to save his life. Kudo-kun doesn’t seem to remember that he can’t just _return_. _They’ll_ be watching, and I _won’t_ let them get their hands on him.” Haibara finished fiercely. She relaxed slightly. “This was the best way. I’ll keep refining the antidote to lower the risk and produce it once he brings down the crows.” She sighed. “None of this would be happening if he hadn’t sneaked a peek at my notes.”

“Ya should probably be more careful with ‘em from now on.” Hattori muttered. Haibara gave him a look. “Wait, so ya were just gonna let him think that it worked until it wore off?!” She looked away. Hattori shook his head and sucked a breath through his teeth. “That’s cold.” Haibara gave him a hard glare.

The truth was that she not ready to let go of Edogawa-kun just yet. Kudo Shinichi belonged with Ran, Sonoko, and any of the other friends he had at his high school. Edogawa Conan belonged with her and the Detective Boys… She didn’t feel too guilty for keeping him with them… No matter how selfish it was. (Personally she thought that if the Detective Boys put it to a vote they’d be tied, with her and Genta against Edogawa becoming Kudo, and Mitsuhiko and Ayumi in favor of letting Conan choose. But that vote obviously would never happen.) The fact that she was being selfish did not invalidate any of her other arguments against Kudo’s return. Clearly Hattori felt the same way.

“…Hey, are we terrible friends?” Hattori finally asked, staring at the door that Conan had vanished through. His body language mirrored the defeat that Conan’s had when he’d stepped from the bathroom.

“Probably.” Haibara shrugged. “But we love him. We care about him more than he cares about himself. That’s why we did it, right?” Hattori glanced down, and offered her a small pitiful smile.

“Yah, I guess ya’re right.” He glanced up. “Let’s go see what movies Conan’s picked out.” Kaito flinched as the bug was loudly crushed.

So… Tantei-kun was alright… Hattori would cheer him up... Haibara would look after him… And Kaito… Kaito smiled... Kaito would find out exactly who the “they” were that Haibara seemed convinced would kill his favorite detective. Kaito cackled quietly to himself. They messed with his favorite detective… _They_ were going _down_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't intend for Hattori and Kaito to end up not liking each other... It just happened. 
> 
> I don't love how it turned out, but you know... Let me you what you guys thought!
> 
>  
> 
> And no... Kaito doesn't seem to realize what he's getting into. Silly overprotective boy...
> 
>  
> 
> And they each have selfish reasons to keep him Conan and legitimate reasons. Which I thought was accurate and fun...

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to be honest, I'm not really sure where this came from... Probably some stray thought about how Hattori actually wouldn't want Conan to become Kudo again if he actually thought about it. Hattori's kinda overprotective and it's a lot easier to protect Conan than it is to protect Kudo... 
> 
>  
> 
> What do you guys think?


End file.
